We all seek connection
Connection to Self (breath, body & mind)
Connection to others (lovers, family & friends)
Connection to something greater (nature, spirit & universe)
When I feel connected to my higher Self, I gain the ability to choose which thoughts to engage with. I stop caring about what other people think and instead relate on a conscious level. I embrace differences and discomfort and remember we are all made of the same stardust. It creates an ease and fluidity, with less focus on expectation and more on experience.
This is why I practice yoga.
This is why I teach yoga.
And it’s why my students choose to practice with me.
While I yearn for this connection, my natural behavior creates distance. I’m terrible at responding to texts and phone calls, and am rarely the first person to reach out. I enjoy social gatherings, however, I also crave being home alone and binge-watching television. When I indulge in alcohol + weed, it only dulls my ability to connect, as does a diet that is difficult to digest like dairy or red meat.
So why do I do this to myself?
I use these methods to numb the vacant feeling of disconnect, doubt and lack of direction. I’d rather under-share then over-expose to avoid the possibility of criticism or rejection. Even typing this makes me nervous, but I know I’m not alone in believing it is much easier to avoid the vulnerability of sharing than it is to wear your heart on your sleeve. But that doesn’t get me anywhere, it only limits my ability to experience life! And life is simply too short for that.
Once I recognize these self-deprecating acts, I write in my journal and jump on my mat.
Why do you practice?